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Dealing with Angry Students- When Nothing Else Works

The last section deal with angry students who no strategies implemented seem to be working.   A referral should be considered.  Does the child need counseling?  Is his/her pediatrician involved? Does the school need to do educational testing and psychological screening? Does the child have a learning disability?  Is he/she depressed?

We also need to remember to be patient.  The author tells teachers that some years the best they can do is to keep the angry child from getting worse.  If the child isn't regressing, well, that progress.  The following strategies are ones that I found practical:

1. Hands Off- Never try to grab, hold, or restrain an angry child unless he/she is hurting themselves or others.

2.  Shadowing- If the child is unmanageable, arrange for one of his parents to shadow the child all day at school. 

3. Inform others- All adults who interact with the angry child must be aware of the situation and situations that can trigger the outbursts of anger.  This means substitute teachers, coaches, babysitters, etc. 

3. Never Wave the White Flag!- We must never give up on these children, even though the may take much of our time and energy.   It is true that there are situations in which extreme measure, such as residential facilities,  may have to be resorted to.

The book,131 Creative Strategies for Reaching Childen with Anger Problems, concludes with a template for a 5 session parent training workshop "How Do You REACT to An Angry Child", complete with worksheets. 

 

Dealing with Children with Extreme Anger

Level 3- Extreme Anger-

The author offers 42 strategies for reaching extremely angry children. The following strategies were the one's I, again, found most pratical and easily implemented in the classroom setting:

1.  Sublimation-  Angry children need positive ways to use their energy.  Try not to take away playtime.  Get them walking, jogging, lifting boxes, carrying books, dancing or running errands.  Physical activities can reduce anger outburst.

2.  I Get to Pick the Consequences? Let angry chldren determine the consequences of his/her behavior.  Have the consequence options written down ahead of time.  This is a step to helping him become more responsible for his anger.

3.  Talk Lower and Lower- When encountering an angry chi ld, you may have to raise your voice to get her attention.  However, as you continue to talk, keep lowering your voice.  This acts as a calming device.

4.  Good Neighbors- "Tell me who you walk with, and I'll tell you who you are."  If the angry child sits with other angry children, he will remain an angry child.  Instead, sit him near postive peers and he has a better chance of improving.

5. Getting in the Last Word-  Next time you are in a heated discussion and you reach the point when you feel things are getting out of control, give the child your permission to get in the last word.  Often, this catches the angry child by surprise and it takes the air out of her balloon.  Make sure you keep your word and not respond to their last word.   You are still in control because you granted her permission to get the last word in.

6.  The Eyes say Help-  This is interesting!  If you ever come upon 2 students who are starting to fight, most of the time one of the students does not really want to fight.  Once you make your presence know, look for the student who looks at you.  The one who gives you eye contact is usually the one who doesn't want to battle.  Rescue him!  If neither look at you, call for help immediately!

Dealing with More Challenging Anger

The next section of the book is devoted to helping children with more challenging anger.  He provides 32 strategies to deal with these children.  The strategies that I found most useful were those that can be integrated in a classroom, not just an indiviual student.  The following strategies are practical and can be used by anyone in authority to combat anger:

1. Be flexible with orders and give choices.

2.  As often as possible, avoid tangible reinforcement.  The author strongly discourages the use of "bribes" such as candy, small prizes, and stickers as rewards.  In his book, Punished By Rewards, Alfie Kohn (1993) notes that a child who complies in order to get a reward is not "behaving himself", rather, the reward is "behaving him."  Once rewards are one, children often go back to their negative behaviors.  

3.  Don't play Volleyball-  It takes 2 people to argue.  It does no good to verbally retaliate to angry child.  Education and discipline expert Fred Jones (1987) says "It takes one fool to back-talk, but it takes two fools to make a conversation out of it. Back talk is a melodrama written and produced by the student.  If you take you speaking part, the shoe goes on.  If you keep your mouth shut, the show bombs."  Know when to remove yourself from a heataed exchange.

4.  Be Careful with Consequences- It is often easy for an angry child to get at us, and we react with threatening consequences.  Three important things to remember regarding consequences: (a)  Don't shout consequences when you are angry (2)  Don't state consequences you can't keep and (3) Keep your word and follow through with consequences.

Creative Strategies for dealing with Mild to More Challenging Anger

The shot of adrenaline that hits one's bloodstream when he gets angry is present for 28 minutes.  During that time, one is hyperactive to external stimuli and has a shortened attention span.  Think of the educational ramifications of that!  The author gives 32 strategies for dealing with mild to more challenging anger in students. I found the following strategies interesting:

For Mild Anger:

1.  Classroom Creature-  Research shows that the presence of an animal can lower blood pressure in adults and children.  The author suggests a classroom pet.

2. Hot Topics Class Meeetings-constantly monitor classroom "triggers" ( name calling, bossing, tattling, etc) and schedule a weekly meeting to sit together as a class and discuss the "trigger" that is causing the most problems.

3. Teach Them How to Give Compliments-  Most children don't know how to give compliments.  Anger does not survive long in an environment filled with kind words.

4.     I messages-  Teach students to start their sentences with "I feel", rather than the provoking "You did.

5.  The Toothpaste Theory (My favorite!)-  Take a tube of toothpaste and toothbrush.  Put toothpaste on the brush and say "I have changed my mind,  I don't  want to brush my teeth now."  Then say "Do you think I can get all the toothpaste back into the tube?"  Obviously, no.  Then,  "How is this like words we use when we are upset?"

Children with Anger Problems

"Of all the human emotions, anger has created the most harm and caused the greatest destruction within individuals, couples, families, and between social groups and nations." Bill Borcherdt (1989) p. 1.    The author deals with four areas that are most pivotally effected by anger (1) crime (2) inter-personal relationships, (3) health issues, and (4)  teaching and learning.

The

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